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| :: SUPERTOUR 2005 "Goin'
Down On The U.S.A" DAY
1 - SATURDAY, MAY 21st, 2005 While loading the car up with our equipment, we were blessed with an omen - for the second year in a row, we encountered another dead bird. It was a sign of good things to come! We named him Sticky, and we speculate that he must've been related to our friends from last year, Shooting & Blanks. Our first stop was St. Louis, MO. Driving to St. Louis is extremely uneventful. It's mostly all in Illinois. We did get to see a guy in a kilt at some gas station, but that's it. Our car is pretty pimped. It's got a DVD-player built in, but no one in the front can see it. Brey and I enjoyed watching movies while taunting Scotty and Deech, who were in front. I also watched some pretty weird porn that I found. You can see some clips here and here. I think it's called "Monster Anal" or "Monster Cock" or something like that. The plot was lacking, but it was action-packed. We arrived in St. Louis with some time to eat dinner. Scotty almost ruined his appetite with Gummy Bears. Scotty REALLY likes Gummy Bears. We ended up hitting up Applebee's - our waiter was a guy named Lucky, and he was clearly hitting on Deech. It's bad enough that Deech takes all the women from us with his boyish good looks, insatiable charm, and enormous genitals, but it's just rubbing his greatness in our faces when he steals the dudes too. After Deech got a handjob in the back alley of Applebee's from Lucky, we headed to our first show - Frederick's Musical Lounge. This place was pretty badass. When we first arrived, we were greeted by a new friend - Tour Cat. Tour Cat was way cooler than any of us will ever be, and he can jump higher too. When we walked in, the uncut version of "Team America" was playing. Deech and Brey had seen it, but Scotty and I had not. We missed the first half or so, but what we saw was pretty fucking funny, so I highly recommend it... ...what I do NOT recommend, however, is Stag Beer. It's pretty bad. But it was also 100% free, so that didn't stop us from drinking it all night long. The show was super kick-ass (despite the fact that Shooting Blanks was playing). By coincidence, 3 out of the 4 bands playing were from Illinois (and two of them from the Chicagoland area). For some reason, St. Louis seemed to really like us a shitload (1 | 2), but I think that had a lot to do with the fact that we played last, so everyone in the bar was pretty well in-the-bag by the time we hit the stage. We definitely wanna thank a handful of Chicagoland SuperFans that made the trip out to see us, as well as the guys in Aces & Eights for offering us up their homes and beer. We also finally got to meet the legendary SuperFan from St. Louis who got the first ever Shooting Blanks tattoo back in 2003! (1 | 2) Awesome. After the show, we got invited to some house party. I don't know where this place was or who's house it was at, but it was fun because there was beer and broads - both for free. Also, a couple houses down from the party we found a cross in the front yard, so we re-enacted The Passion Of The Hoff (1 | 2). And then I humped a lawn frog. After
the party, we were going to start to drive right to Memphis that
night to get there early, but after about 30-seconds on the road,
we realized that was a stupid idea, so we got a hotel nearby. We
were up until like 5am After stuffing ourselves with shit-ass fast food, we continued to intoxicate our bodies. Then we created a game called "movie charades" where Brey successfully guessed my Oscar-worthy recreation of the climactic escape scene from "Goonies". After that, we passed out and Scotty had dreams of Gummy Bears dancing in his head. --- DAY
2 - SUNDAY, MAY 22nd, 2005 Deech said that it would depend on the guy. Brey said that he definitely would not. I can only assume that he misheard the question, and thought we were talking about banging a girl. The next question was if we'd get a blow job from a guy for $100,000. Scotty and I said definitely not, but Brey and Deech said that they would. Deech probably had Lucky from Applebee's on his mind. The final question was if we'd rather bang Punky Brewster (at her current age) or Sabrina The Teenage Witch (also at her current age). Scotty and I took Punky, Brey took Sabrina, and Deech wants to nail the guy who played Punky's dad, Henry. So, I've learned the following in the last half-hour:
3:12 PM - We just stopped at Best Buy. Brey found "Punky Brewster: Season 1" on DVD. I'm currently aroused. --- NIGHTLY RECAP - We had some time when we finally got into Memphis to get some food before our show. Brey was driving, and he decided to play a game where you try and get from Point A to Point B in the most inefficient way possible. Well, it wasn't so much a "game" as it was the fact that he was just a nutsac behind the wheel. We finally got Taco Bell and then headed to Graceland (1 | 2) to check it out. There was this big wall that you could write whatever you wanted on. There was mostly stuff like "King, we'll miss you" and "Elvis is king", but what that wall really needed was "www.shootingblanks.net" or "Elvis likes balls in his throat". Unfortunately, we had misplaced our marker, so the Graceland wall escaped the juvenile debauchery of Chicagoland drunkPunk. We stopped back at the hotel room so that I could get my modeling photoshoot (1 | 2) and Brey could watch "The Contender" before we rocked balls. That's when we got our first glimpse of Scotty's "dark side". When Scotty starts drinking and watching sports, he gets very violent. He was beating us and yelling at us and making us want to cut ourselves and get eating disorders. Time for the show, right?!......not so much. We pulled up to Murphy's, and the first thing we saw was a van full of senior citizens getting unloaded in their wheelchairs. We walked into the bar and stuck out like sore thumbs. You could almost hear the record screeching to a stop as we stepped through the door, and the heads turned. Now, I'm not one to not play a show just because the place sucks and no one wants to hear us......that's why we have Scotty in the band. Being the voice of reason, Scotty advised us to slowly back out of the bar, and then turn and run to Beale Street as fast as possible. There was a bit of debate behind the ethics of "show ditching", but it was decided in the end that when on tour it's much more important to get drunk and have fun than it is to play music. A decision, in hindsight, that I agree with 100%. So, off to Beale Street it was. Bars, bars, more bars, and horses with HUGE cocks. There were two main highlights of Beale Street - one was that you could walk around and drink outside, and the other is that every block or so you could get MONSTER-sized beers for only $5.00!!! (1 | 2 | 3) We walked around for a bit and scoped out the bar situation. I wanted to go into Pat O'Brien's, cuz it was making me so fucking hot and I wanted to fucking go crazy in it, but we decided to go to some other club instead. There's a lot of live music on Beale Street, but somehow Scotty didn't seem to be in any of the bands! It was certainly odd. The first bar we stopped in had some funk band playing while a large group of white people line-danced to it. It made me realize that any stereotypes that black people have for white people are 100% justified. We hit up a few other bars, including a pretty badass dueling piano bar called Silky's where I got some fat-ass chili cheese fries in order to ensure my beefcake "tour weight gain". I figured that eating that pile of crap was a good idea because I know that the only thing girls like more than short guys are short fat guys. Look out, ladies.... It was really nice outside, so we sat outside and drank. There was a group of hot girls walking around with their token ugly friend. Brey had the idea to hit on the troll in hopes that it would "open the gates" to the other women. Admittedly a good idea in theory, but what Brey forgot to take into account is that even girls who would normally have to pay for sex want nothing to do with the gentlemen in Shooting Blanks. And that's when we met Quintel... ...ahhh, good ol' Quintel. Quintel is this homeless guy. He was pretty crazy, but only in the scheme of non-homeless people (homed people?). For being a bum, he was actually pretty sharp. He did some magic tricks for us and told us jokes. It was like having our own little smelly, loudmouth, drunken clown! Here's where stuff starts getting typical. We had almost gone a full 24-hours without someone hitting on Deech, but that sparkle in his eye had stolen Quintel's heart. When Deech got up to go to the bathroom, Quintel began to wax romantic to Scotty and myself about what a great catch Deech is. I'd like to say that what I'm typing right now is just me making jokes or being sarcastic, but at the risk of being a boldfaced liar I cannot, in fact, say that. We got to hear how Quintel likes Deech because he's always smiling, and how Quintel thinks Deech is the greatest guy in the world, and how Quintel thinks Deech is awesomeness personified, and how Quintel wants to frolic in fields of daisies hand-in-hand with Deech. How cute. Quintel left when Deech broke his heart by telling him that things were getting "kind of serious" between him and Lucky, the Applebee's waiter. The
streets were clearing out, and we decided to head back to our luxury
suite. Deech was on the ball earlier in the day and got beer, so
we had some cold Coors waiting for us in the room. More drinking
and To cap off the evening, Scotty and Deech went to get some chili out of a vending machine, and it was off to dreamland. Scotty had a hard time getting to sleep at first because he hadn't had his Gummy Bears all day, but after we tucked him in and sang him a lullaby, all was well. --- DAY
3 - MONDAY, MAY 23rd, 2005 So, Scotty ended up making the entire 10-hour drive by himself. What a trooper. We're considering making him a salaried member of the band, but we'll have to discuss it with our HR Department once we get back to Shooting Blanks Headquarters in Chicagoland. Much of the drive took us through Arkansas. We never realized how stupid Arkansas was until spending hours driving through it. First off, they can't even come up with their own name. Kansas spent all that time coming up with "Kansas", and then Arkansas just goes and sticks an "Ar" in front of it. Then, on top of that, they can't even come up with their own city names. Again, they just steal other cities names and combine them. How the fuck do they get away with shit like "Arkadelphia" and "Texarkana". And sometimes they don't even try to change the names - it's just flat-out theft! Then we ended up finding a restaurant called "Texadelphia"... ...fuck you, Arkansas. Fuck you. So, for a while it was just driving, driving, and more driving. Scotty kept getting frustrated cuz big-ass trucks kept cutting him off and then driving really slow. Luckily, we know how to cheer up our little buddy, so we got him some Gummy Bears to calm him down. We found a lot of really stupid town names too - mostly in Arkansas (1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6). Fuck you, Arkansas. We also saw some awesome SUPER-carnage. Dallas's major expressway was completely shut-down in both directions due to an insane accident (1 | 2 | 3 | 4) . Lots of death and wreckage and stuff (1 | 2 | 3). There were helicopters (1 | 2) and news people and everything. I was shocked. We arrived in Austin, and we had the night off, so we immediately decided to just go drinking heavily. We met up with our friend Blake who is out here with some chick Renee for their work or something. I forgot to bring the camera when we went out, and I am still kicking myself for it, as Brey was in rare form. I'll do my best to recount the main events, but without photographic evidence, you'll just have to do your best to conjure-up some mental imagery... We spent the whole night on 6th Street. I dunno how that place makes any money because we were drinking $1 bottles and $1 well-drinks all night long. It was fucking great. Deech, Scotty, and I wanted to check out the club that we'd be playing at the following night, so we went off to do that, and we left Brey and Renee to their own devices. After we had a drink at the club, we went back to catch up with Brey. We found him wearing a Phil Collins shirt. All that it took was that first glance of seeing Brey walking around in public with a "Phil Collins Farewell Tour" shirt on for us to know that it was gonna be a good night. MUCH much more drinking ensued, and Brey ended up dancing on some stage to "Pour Some Sugar On Me" by Def Leppard. Brey's stage dance moved out onto the floor of the bar where he immediately became the main attraction. The entire bar full of strangers had their cell phones out and were taking pictures of him. It was super-badass. But it didn't stop there.... ....from what Blake told us, this Renee girl wasn't much of a drinker. But she was drinking this night, for sure. So much so, in fact, that it appeared she had taken a liking to Brey. I mean no knock to Brey by saying that - it's just that there's only two reasons why any girl would pick any one of us over Deech: alcohol or chloroform. And I'm pretty sure that Brey left his "fun rag" in the hotel room. Anyway, it was becoming very clear that Brey's chances with this chick were like 99%. There was virtually nothing he could do to screw up this hook-up, short of, like, waving his genitals in her face in public or something... ....so, Brey waved his genitals in her face in public. Ahhh, yes - how women can resist the John Brey charm is beyond me. So, back to the hotel it was. Renee went upstairs to her room by herself, Brey passed out right away, and Deech, Scotty, Blake, and myself continued drinking and (inevitably) playing the hot new game that's sweeping the country, Movie Charades™! The Movie Charade™ highlight this evening: Deech's dead-on rendition of the 1986 classic "Short Circuit". Brilliant. --- DAY
4 - TUESDAY, MAY 24th, 2005 Scotty,
Deech, Blake, and I went out to get some food while Brey stayed
in the hotel to After that, it was time to head out to the show at Redrum. We decided to "spice things up" a bit and actually play the show this time. We played with a really cool band called Futurecast. They were actually from the Austin area, and they answered all of my questions about the authenticity of the show "King Of The Hill". I found out that there is no Arlen, TX, and there is no such thing as Alamo beer, but there is a Tom Landry Middle School. Awesome. The show itself was fun. Blake and Renee came out to watch, and there was a handfull of people in the audience too. Brey thought we played terrible, but it sounded like any other Shooting Blanks shitfest to me. We sold some CDs and stuff, so some people were stupid enough to like us. After the show, Brey - being the gentleman that he is - apologized to Renee for showing her his penis the night before. Very thoughtful. After the show we took some shots and headed off to a restaurant/bar nearby. Renee did some trick where she tried to make an Equal sugar packet look like a bag of cocaine, but it just looked like a condom packet to me. I found two people having an affair, so I pretended like I was a "Cheaters" photographer. We continued to drink more really big Texas beer (1 | 2) and draw stupid things on a chalkboard in the bathroom (1 | 2 | 3). That was pretty much all the fun we could handle for one day. We knew that we had to get up at the asscrack of dawn to drive 9-hours and make it to our show in New Orleans the next day, so we turned in early at like 2am. Walking to our car we saw a lot of Austin cops, and they all dress super-gay with really short, tight shorts. I couldn't see taking them seriously, if I were ever getting arrested in Texas. We got some food on the way home, and then Brey humped Deech and I humped Scotty, and then we passed out. --- DAY
5 - WEDNESDAY, MAY 25th, 2005 Well,
it's about time for me to take the wheel again. Perfect timing,
too, since I just polished-off the last of the vodka and my acid
trip is just starting to wear down. Or maybe not - I just
saw Scotty rise
up from a warehouse on the side of the road. Fuck - this'll
be a fun drive! I'll write more later --- NIGHTLY RECAP - The drive to Louisiana was fun. Well, Deech and I thought so, at least. Safety sucks! We shuffled all the songs on the iPod (thousands of them) and made a rule that we had to listen to any song that came up. Sometimes that really ate a load of ass. But sometimes it was super awesome - like when we got to hear Queensryche, which Scotty was completely disgusted with. So, we finally made it to New Orleans in one piece. I apologize in advance to any New Orleans locals that may be reading this, but your city is complete shit. It's all swampy and full of bugs and urine and vomit and filth. New Orleans is a "city" in the same way that a port-a-potty is a "bathroom". Other highlights of the aforementioned drive was a sweet Michael Bolton billboard and hitting the biggest bug ever. Our show that night was at a dive bar called The Dixie Taverne. Again, we decided to play the show, this time being the only band at the club. Much like the city of New Orleans, the bar was a total shithole - they didn't even have fans with enough blades to facilitate any practical use (1 | 2 | 3). But the owners and patrons there were really nice - the bartender even made a tip jar for us (which, amazingly, people actually contributed to!). Our friend from Florida, Paulie, came out to the show with a chick named Jessie that looked like Laurie Loughlin (Uncle Jessy's girlfriend, Becky, from the TV show "Full House"). The show was pretty dead, but we got free Natural Lights, so all was not lost. Before we hit the stage, Deech got a text message telling us that Carrie Underwood beat out Bo Bice to become your next American Idol. Bullshit! After we showed New Orleans how to rock, the bartender asked if anyone wanted to "ring the bell". Brey volunteered, and the joke was on him cuz it turns out that if you ring the bell (by smashing a beer bottle on it) you have to buy shots for everyone at the bar. But then the joke was on us, because we had to drink well-shots. There's few things more gut-wrenching then throwing down 2 ounces of piss-warm generic gin and some no-name whiskey. After I got beat with the Branch Of Discipline and Brey puked outside really quick, it was off to Bourbon Street for some reckless debauchery! I tried to see some vaginas, but they wouldn't let me in. Then Brey tried to see some cock, and they wouldn't let him in. We decided to cut our losses on not being able to see genitals and get some big-ass beers. Even though these monster beers were only $5, Deech got a little pussy beer. Ha! - stupid Deech. Let's all take a minute to laugh at him.......oops - I think we hurt his feelings. Sorry, Deech. I think Brey got the most drunk on Bourbon Street. I only make that assumption based on the following things that I saw Brey do:
Ahhh, but who am I to talk? - I was humping a giant hot dog. After the Bourbon Street hijinks, we parted ways with Paulie and Laurie Loughlin (1 | 2 | 3 | 4), and headed back to the hotel. I realized at this point that I had not yet tried to fit myself into any small, uncomfortable places, so I aimed for a dresser drawer (1 | 2). After several unsuccessful attempts, it was time for the most action-packed edition of Movie Charades™ yet!... ...Deech and Scotty looked on with shock and disbelief as I did my "Spiderman" re-enactment - climbing up the skyscrapers of the city and flying from building to building using my kick-ass webs! (1 | 2 | 3 | 4) In the end, it got mixed reviews. After that, we finally decided to go to bed since we had to drive 9-hours to Atlanta the next day, so Brey passed out under a desk. --- DAY
6 - THURSDAY, MAY 26th, 2005 Since none of us figured we'd ever be in New Orleans again (or, at least we hoped that we wouldn't), we figured we should look for a place that serves gumbo before we hit the road. Our quest led us to the South Side Cafe. In addition to having the gumbo that we wanted, the restaurant also had a plethora of women with enormously large breasts. And for Brey, they served balls too. After several hours of Brey the Safety Nazi driving, Scotty took the wheel. It was equally BOOOOOOORING. What the fuck is the deal with concentrating on the road? That's so fucking lame. Brey made the drive pretty fun, though, cuz he was in charge of the iPod, so we got to hear awesome songs like "Puttin' On The Ritz" by Taco. We also learned a lot about our new drummer's likes and dislikes:
We got into Atlanta pretty late (like 10:00pm). Right next to where we were staying there was this crazy guy who killed his girlfriend and had climbed up on this huge crane. The major road through Atlanta was blocked-off, and the guy was up there for 3-days with no food and water. At one point he was doing chin-ups on the crane. That's so badass. The cops had these helicopters blaring loud music and sirens so that he wouldn't fall asleep on the crane and fall to his death. This guy is my hero. It made the national news too! We didn't have a show this evening, so as soon as we got to the hotel we just headed out to a bar for what was supposed to be a relaxed night of social drinking and taking it easy. Not so much.... Brey wasn't drinking this evening, but he was snorting coke. Scotty ordered some dang quesadillas, and Deech, Scotty, and myself began drinking. This place we were at had just recently opened, so they had some pretty badass drink specials. We drank a lot, and I was shocked to see the total on our bill, but the waitress was insistent that we pay the bill in full. After closing out that bar, we went back to the hotel to drink. Brey was still up, so he hung out with us, but continued to not drink. I tried to offer Deech a beer, but he decided to be a big girl and drink Mike's Hard Lemonade. I was thoroughly disappointed. Things started getting pretty drunk pretty quickly. I was dancing to "Holla Back Girl" by Gwen Stefanie (1 | 2 | 3 | 4), and then there was a lot of weird humping and stuff. Sober Brey even got in on the action! (1 | 2) Our hotel had a free continental breakfast from 6-10, so earlier in the night we got a 9:30 wake-up call with the mindset that we'd wake up, get free breakfast real quick, and then go back to bed. Well, at this point in the evening it was like 5:30am, so we cancelled our wake-up call and figured that we could just have one more beer, and that would take us to 6:00. Boy, were we fucking fucked-up by that point. Due to being worn out from all the humping and what not, Deech and Scotty passed out and didn't make it to continental breakfast. Thankfully, Sober Brey was still going strong, so he came with me to get food. We got to the lobby at about 5:55 and the anticipation of the award-winning display of rotting fruits and stale bagels was almost too much excitement for Brey and I to handle (1 | 2). The wait was definitely worth it! We got eggs and fruit and carbohydrates (fuck you, Atkins!), and it was the most fun I've had since driving through the mountains with Deech during SuperTour 2004! I felt bad about violating Scotty and Deech earlier in the night, so Brey and I decided to surprise them with a sample of our super kick-ass breakfast (1 | 2 ). We're the nicest bandmates ever!!!....even though, they didn't seem to care (1 | 2). It was after 7am at that point, and since I couldn't really function on any normal sort of level, it was bedtime. --- DAY
7 - FRIDAY, MAY 27th, 2005 We had to head out to our show at 10 High Club pretty early, but it was a really awesome place. There was a nicer kinda yuppy bar upstairs, and then a sweet-ass downtrodden rock club with a nice stage downstairs. We played with this really talented and kick-ass group of guys called The Blackheadz from the local Atlanta area. After we got off stage, we met Laura. She was a cool drunk chick who would do stuff that we asked her to do, like stick things in her mouth, text message Deech, and let me look at her boobs (well, after a little persuasion). She also bought me a bunch of shots, which made the remainder of the night a bit hazy, so I may need to cut this update short! We left the bar, and Deech drove home - but not before slamming Brey's head into the door of the van. Scotty thought it was super-awesome. Before going back to our hotel, we stopped at a bakery for food. Drunk food is the best invention ever. When we got back to the hotel, we found out that I was the #3 hottest douchebag in the country, so (fueled by unbridled passion) I began to make out with myself. After that, we saw Bo Bice and Carrie Underwood being interviewed on CNN. We're big fans of Bo Bice, but we think Ryan Seacrest is a buttfucker. However, seeing all of that Seacrest got Deech all hot and bothered, so he jumped into some homoerotic fun, since he missed out the night before. After that, we were all worn out, so it was time for Brey to crawl under his desk and the rest of us to hit the bed. --- DAY
8 - SATURDAY, MAY 28th, 2005 Speaking of bathrooms, we stopped at the most disgusting fucking Hardee's to ever grace the planet Earth, and in the bathroom there was a glory hole. I shit you not. Yechhh! Not much exciting was going on with the drive to Lexington, KY, so I just decided to kick back and trip my balls off again. With Brey the Safety Nazi asleep in the back seat, Deech and I seized our opportunity to preach our views of "living life on the edge" to Scotty. It didn't take long for him to stop being a pussy and begin to enjoy doing things while driving like text-messaging and watching movies on my laptop. We've been staying at pretty average hotels for the most part throughout our tour. So, I decided to book us at a badass castle! Brey and Scotty didn't like the medieval rustic feel that the hotel had. Some of their issues included:
Oh well - I guess nothing is good enough for our little prima donnas. We had time before our show to get some food, so we went to a conveniently-located Cracker Barrel within walking distance. Brey got some pussy at the Cracker Barrel, which was pretty cool (1 | 2). After eating what was probably our best meal since we left Chicago, we went back to the castle to drink, pretty ourselves up, and then head out to rock some asses off at the Short Street Lounge. This show was VERY last-minute (we got it like 2-days prior), so we just assumed the place would be a dump. We were definitely mistaken, as it was easily the nicest place we've played all tour (although, we didn't agree with some of their views). The stage was huge, and there was an enormous disco ball. There was also a super-nice beer garden where Deech put on an awkwardly wacky 1-man improv comedy set (he killed, Jerry - killed!). And finally, there was a bunch of chicks with perfect asses. The show was fun, and the bar gave us free shots while we were on stage, so that was pretty cool. The management and employees of this bar were probably the friendliest I've ever encountered (next to The Mutiny, of course!). After the show, I was hitting on this giraffe, but then Scotty totally cockblocked me, and he ended up getting the giraffe's number. Stupid Scotty. Scotty also couldn't get enough of Shooting Blanks, so he bought a live recording of our show that night. Ha! - it must be nice to have tons of money to throw away on garbage. A strange phenomenon happened when we got back to the castle after the show. You see, when we first arrived (and up until the time we left for the show that night), the place was TOTALLY empty. But when we got back from the show at like 2am, there was only ONE open parking spot. Then the next morning when we woke up (only like 5 hours later) the whole lot was empty again! It's kinda fucked-up, and we thought we were hallucinating just cuz we had drank so much the night before, but the photographic evidence proves that people just like to hang out at castles when it's dark outside. So, after the show (as was the case with after every other show this tour) we decided that we needed to eat some shit-ass food before turning in. Waffle House was right next door, so we walked there. I can't speak for the other guys, but my breakfast burrito was pretty fucking gross. After eating, we went back to the room to drink the beer that we had there. Deech didn't think that a refrigerator was an effective enough machine to cool some bottles of beer on its own, so before we left he put the beer in buckets of ice and then put them in the fridge. Not a smart move. End of night. End of tour. --- DAY
9 - SUNDAY, MAY 29th, 2005 All in all it was a good time, despite the strong homosexual overtones here-and-there. We played a good amount of shows at decent venues, Scotty didn't quit, Brey only dropped his pants twice, Deech didn't take all our women since he was too busy text-messaging, and I didn't get attacked by cougars. I'll miss miss not waking up next to a bunch of dudes every morning, and I'll also miss having other states of being besides "drunk" or "hungover", but other than that it'll be good to be home. I hate you all. Hoffman...out! shows
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